Nile Ranger Is Still Being A Colossal Melon

nile-ranger
Tit: Nile Ranger

Southend United striker and lanky reprobate Nile Ranger has been charged with fraud and money laundering sentences, police have said.

The former Newcastle United prodigy is accused of conspiracy to commit fraud and money laundering in February last year. The charge comes just 13 days after signing a new three-and-a-half year contract with his League One side.

The Metropolitan Police said Ranger obtained a vulnerable person’s bank account details by phone with a view to getting hold of their money. The 25-year-old was charged on Monday and will appear at Highbury Corner magistrates’ court later today.

You charmer, Nile
Stop it, Nile, you bloody charmer you

Fancy some light reading at lunchtime? Why not treat yourself to the Nile Ranger list of misdemeanours! Including hits such as:

He also has a lip tattoo which is terrible, just terrible.

Ranger has scored 22 goals in his entire professional career, a number barely greater than his rap sheet. One of these days, clubs are going to realise he’s really not worth the hassle.

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