So, this right here is an interesting / depressing graphic:
STATS: Which teams have spent longest in their division without promotion or relegation? Full table >> https://t.co/ONh9EFFvSG pic.twitter.com/0PzUkrDvKC
— EFL (@EFL) February 1, 2017
Come on, Oldham, just…just at least PRETEND to try and get promoted. The most you’ve done in 19 years is sign, then not sign, convicted, but then not convicted, felon then non-felon Ched Evans. 19 seasons is too much.
There should be a cut-off point for how many seasons you are allowed in the same tier: let’s say 15 seasons. 15 is a good, solid number.
If, after 15 seasons of relentlessly grinding it out in one league, you still find yourself in the same division, you will then be cut out of that league and randomly dropped in an equivalent or lower tier in any other country from around the world. Not familiar with Vietnam’s third division? WELL GET USED TO IT, OLDHAM.
Ipswich, too: don’t think you’re off the hook just because Oldham have been more mediocre than you. You’re even worse…
Does Mick McCarthy have the worst job in football? Answer: yes, probably.
He has to appease an impatient fan-base that got a taste of European and Premier League football, not too long ago, and wants more.
He has to squeeze the best out of a random collection of footballers, some of who are young and talented (past examples include Connor Wickham, Jordan Rhodes, Tyrone Mings and Aaron Cresswell.)
He then has to somehow continue to seduce decent football from his side when the club sells all their young and talented players…such as Connor Wickham, Jordan Rhodes, Tyrone Mings, Aaron Cresswell.
He also has to conjure footballing magic when the club sells one of its random collection of footballers, such as Daryl Murphy (a random footballer who just happened to be their main goal threat).
And, finally, he has to do this while not being really being given any money to spend. The club have spent just over £4m on transfers since McCarthy took over in 2012, which is roughly a third of what Aston Villa spent on Scott Hogan yesterday.
This has been Ipswich for 14 seasons. They briefly flirted with the play-offs in the noughties, before the slide into mid-table mediocrity – not good enough to go up, not good enough to go down. Oh, but wait! They also got into the play-offs in 2015…and were well-beaten by arch-rivals and fellow farm-folk Norwich City. Hmm.
According to my Ipswich-supporting flatmate, following the Tractor Boys in the Championship for the past 14 seasons has been: “equivalent to watching the Simpsons slowly getting worse and worse over time, all the while remembering how good things used to be and pretending they can be that good again despite knowing deep down they never will be anywhere close.”
You can tell how apathetic my flatmate is to the Ipswich cause by the amount he talks about Ipswich and said cause unprompted, which is precisely never.
I did manage to speak briefly with him about their FA Cup defeat to Lincoln City last month, and he replied in the same manner as a distant, uninterested parent being presented with their child’s terrible drawing of the family pet.
[quote]”Oh,” he said. “That’s nice.”[/quote]
THAT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE A CAT, BILLY. YOU WERE A MISTAKE.
My flatmate then went happily about his day, continuing not to talk about Ipswich. Because that is what supporting the same vanilla team in the same bloody division for 14 years, watching teams like Hull and Blackpool and Bournemouth – REALLY? BOURNEMOUTH?? – overtake you, does to a man’s soul. My flatmate, and all Ipswich supporters, are now apathy in human form.
Oldham and Ipswich fans: you have our sympathy. Maybe follow cricket for a while, or something. In fact, get really into gardening, because shrubbery will never consistently disappoint you in the same ways your football team has been doing for over a decade. YAY, SHRUBBERY!
