NIGEL KAHN casts West Ham bosses David Gold and David Sullivan in the role of Pete and Dud...and lets his imagination flow

Karren Brady

GOLDY: And screaming and banging on the door, you know, and I thought I must have left the gas on. So I go down there – I fling open the door – you’ll never guess – it’s bloody Franco Zola, up to his knees in pasta, screaming at me – portami cuocere, mi permetta di essere ancora il vostro gestore!’ 
SULLY:  Italian.
GOLDY: Italian, yes, he wants to be our manager again – anyway he grab...